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Lindsay Lohan’s Pepsi Dirty Soda, Pilk, Reviewed
It’s Pilk!
Photo: Pepsi/YouTube
If Mariah Carey is the Queen of Christmas, Matt Rogers its Prince, and Jesus its King (fact-check pls?), Lindsay Lohan must be the Chrismess Princess. In 2004, she brought “Jingle Bell Rock” into the 21st century. in 2022, Falling for Christmas became new canonical holiday gospel. And today, on the first day of December, the ho-ho-ho month, Lohan has introduced us all to a new classic Christmas drink, one that will surely take the world by storm and put eggnog out of a job; I am talking, of course, about Pilk. Pilk, as you will learn from Lohan’s 16-second sponsored social-media post, is a heady association of Pepsi and milk. In the ad, she wears her Mean Girls talent-show sexy-Santa look, sits by a roaring fire, and pours a can of Pepsi into a glass. “Nice,” she croaks. Then she tops off the glass with milk. “Ooh, naughty.” She stirs it together with a straw until the whole drink turns creamy opaque. “Pepsi and milk,” she says, doing her best “thinking” face. “Pilks!” She puts her lips around the straw and the camera cuts to a still life of Pilk and cookies just as she’s about to sip it. “Mmm, that is one dirty soda,” she says when the camera cuts back with no evidence of her having drunk the dang thing. Is LiLo calling the soda “naughty” and “dirty” meant to… make us horny for milk soda? Could this Christmas vixen (reindeer sense, affectionate) be trusted? I channeled my inner Lisa Barlow and made one to find out.
This might be hard to believe, but Lohan actually did not come up with the idea for Pilk by herself. It’s a riff on Utah’s dirty sodas, regionally popular soft drinks that blend soda with half-and-half or creamer and additional flavored syrups. For some reason, coffee is a sin there, but bubbly dairy syrup is a godly bevvy. This genre of drink’s connection to piety isn’t new, nor is it even Utah specific. The original cream soda had real dairy in it and was marketed as a temperance drink on the East Coast in the late 19th century. But TikTok has made Utah’s popular dirty-soda spots, like Swig, go viral, the drinks’ neon-hued visual appeal is undeniable. And Falling for Christmas was filmed in Utah, even though it takes place in Aspen, so there’s some sort of trackable brand synergy going on with her affiliation with the trend.
I broke out the good crystal for this.
Photo: Rebecca Alter
In the plus column for Pilk and cookies: The ingredients are easy to acquire, and the drink is easy to create. I chilled a fancy glass in the freezer while I stepped out to buy full-sugar Pepsi and whole milk, then assembled the Pilk on ice (I couldn’t quite see ice in the commercial, but you can hear the clink of cubes when Lohan stir). Taking my cue from the video, the ratio appears to be one can of Pep to around a quarter-cup (eyeballed) of milk.
Still promising.
Photo: Rebecca Alter
There’s a brief moment when the thing looks delicious, the contrast between the black and white liquids is still distinct, before it all settles into a muddy off-white. On the first sip, the drink tasted only of Pepsi, so I topped it up with some more milk. Then it just tasted like diluted, flat Pepsi, the aggro lactose totally snuffing out the soda bubbles. Overall, the drink just made me think of how great a Coke float is comparatively. In a Coke float, the cold solids of the ice cream hit the carbonated soda and create a layer of fluffy foam, which is delicious and creates a protective layer that stops the bubbles from flattening. Pilk has no such chemistry-lab magic. Plus, unlike milk, ice cream actually contributes flavor.
Boo.
Photo: Rebecca Alter
And that’s another thing! Lohan should have made Pilk with Vanilla Pepsi or at least add a dash of vanilla. I did the latter, which helped a ton with flavor, though the consistency remained irredeemable. As I sipped along to a Sonos Christmas-jazz station and kept trying to make Pilk happen, it hit me what this is … what Pilk is … what all dirty soda is. It’s just a goyish egg cream.
Ratings: Flops/10
Merry Christmas, Lindsay Lohan!
Country ham recipe slow-cooks with help from a sleeping bag : NPR
As a child, Linda Ishmael would help her grandparents prepare Old Kentucky Ham for the holidays.
Linda Ishmael/Collage by NPR
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Linda Ishmael/Collage by NPR
As a child, Linda Ishmael would help her grandparents prepare Old Kentucky Ham for the holidays.
Linda Ishmael/Collage by NPR
All Things We’re Cooking is a series featuring family recipes from you, our readers and listeners, and the special stories behind them. We’ll continue to share more of your kitchen gems throughout the holidays.
When Linda Ishmael was growing up, her family’s Christmas celebrations always included “putting the ham to sleep” to get it ready for the holiday dinner, when dozens of family members would visit their Kentucky farm.
The sleep process is a method of slow-cooking a salt-cured country ham for 24 hours that Ishmael said hearkens back to pioneer cooking.
“It was a way for the women to cook a lot of dishes at once,” Ishmael said. “They could put the ham up somewhere else to slow cook while they used their oven to cook other things.”
Ishmael lives in Flemingsburg, Ky., just about 4 miles from where he grew up on hundreds of acres of land with his parents, siblings, aunt, uncle, cousins and grandparents. Out of all the kids, Ishmael said, she was the only one interested in being in the kitchen with her grandmother.
“I would leave my house and go up, either walk or bicycle up, to my grandparents’ home … so I was always there, kind of as part of the prep work,” said Ishmael.
It’s here where she learned everything needed to cook the special ham that also made appearances at Easter and other family celebrations.
To get started, you need to gather your ingredients and equipment, which includes some rugs without plastic coating on the bottom, a newspaper, blankets, a cold-weather sleeping bag and a pot with a lid or a lard can that can hold the entire ham in water.
Ishmael uses a plastic pot scrubber to clean the ham under cool running water. Then she soaks the ham in a pot of water for 24 hours. This helps rehydrate the ham and gets a good portion of the salt out, Ishmael said.
Then the ham goes into the cheesecloth bag it comes in or another cloth that can be tied at the top and back into the pot. The pot of ham is refilled with fresh cold water and put on the stove until it comes to a boil. You want it to stay at a rolling boil for 30 minutes.
Then you carefully lift the pot or can off the stovetop. This is a job that Ishmael said was reserved for her grandfather when she was growing up.
“My grandfather put a raincoat on so that hot water wouldn’t splash on him when he took it off the stove, and he’d always wink at me and say, you know, ‘It’s better to be safe than sorry,'” Ishmael recalled.
Her grandfather would move the pot of ham onto the rugs, and then the wrapping process began.
Wrapping the ham starts with making sure the lid is secure and then putting two layers of newspaper around the pot and on top. Ishmael said you can secure these with tape if you’d like. Then come the blankets and, finally, a sleeping bag good for temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit.
The sleeping bag was added after one of Ishmael’s family members left one behind after a camping trip.
“It really created a good insulator, because when 24 hours pass and you come back to take these things off, unwrap it, you want it to still be extremely hot in the pot,” she said.
After those 24 hours of slow-cooking, the ham gets scored before it’s encrusted with the cracker mixture and browned in the oven.
Ishmael said that after it’s done, you have to hide it from the family until dinnertime — that’s how good it is.
“Everybody that’s ever eaten it has loved it,” she said. “As I’ve always said, this is the best ham I’ve ever eaten.”
Old Kentucky Hams
Recipe submitted by Linda Ishmael
Flemingsburg, Ky.
Ingredients
- 1 salt-cured country ham, about 16 to 18 pounds
- 2 sleeves of saltine crackers, more if needed
- 1 tablespoon black pepper
- 1 cup of brown sugar
- approximately 1/2 to 3/4 cup apple cider vinegar
Equipment
- 1 large pot or lard can with a lid that can fit the ham and water
- 1 cheesecloth bag
- 1 newspaper
- 2 rugs that do not have plastic coating on the bottom
- several towels and blankets
- 1 cold-weather sleeping bag suitable for temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit
- tapes (optional)
Directions
Clean and scrub the ham with a plastic pot scrubber under cool running water.
Put the ham in the
What’s the Best Way to Reheat Leftover Pizza?
The doorbell chimes and a hot, cheesy pizza lands in your hands—one of life’s simple pleasures. My love for pizza delivery runs deep. When I was growing up, my Italian parents weren’t much for eating out. Restaurants were reserved for special occasions as my mom, a fantastic cook, cooked dinner every night. However, there was an exception: On Friday nights, if my mom had a tiring week at work, my sister and I could convince her to order pizza. Along with an icy Coke, it was the highlight of my week.
The only thing better than Friday night was Saturday afternoon. That’s when I remember there were a few left over slices. But after a night in the fridge, the pizza transforms into something far from the original. While quick, microwaved pizza is a no-go—rubbery crust and uneven cheese melt are a nonstarter. So I researched how to heat the perfect slice, testing tried-and-true techniques from professionals and turning to TikTok trends for some innovation. Out of the four methods I tried, there was one clear winner.
Oven Toasters
I headed to F&F Pizzeria to find out how some genuine Pizza Heads, Frank Falcinelli and Frank Castronovo, reheat pizza. For the Franks, the toaster oven is the method of choice and a convenient way to get the job done. It’s just a few buttons, a tray perfectly sized for one slice, and a nice little window to stare through while your cheese begins to bubble before your hungry eyes.
No fanfare: Turn on the toaster oven to 325°; set on the bake function. Throw a cold slice on that little tray and it’ll wake up with a uniform melted cheese and a crispy crust. The crust is a touch crisper than the original, but I’m not mad at it. That extra crunch when you bite into the rim can be pretty satisfying.
Oven
Moving on, I tried my mother’s method. We didn’t have a toaster oven growing up, so she would turn on the oven to heat up the extra slices. I upgraded her method based on a few tips from Falcinelli and Castronovo. The oven is a fine choice but, again, low and slow: 325° on the heat, and unlike my mother, they advised me to place the slices on a wire rack. I was intrigued. Would the airflow under the slice make a difference? It sure did, creating an almost identical result to the toaster oven. The slice was expertly heated, and I believe the wire rack helped preserve the bottom crust. A few cons: The oven takes much longer to preheat than the toaster, and heating the big old oven seemed a bit wasteful for one slice. But if you’re reheating more than one slice, this method is ideal. (If you’re concerned about cheese melting and falling onto the oven floor, place a tray on the rack below the pizza. But baking it directly on the wire rack is key to a crispy crust.)
Cast-Iron Skillet
Next I tested a method I’ve heard many pizzaiolos swear by: the cast-iron skillet. The skillet is heated, the slice is placed in, and then a few drops of water are carefully drizzled around the slice before covering. This method has some drawbacks: There is more room for error, and many people don’t own a cast-iron skillet. If you do, add the pizza slice to a dry, hot pan, and carefully add water—figure a scant 1 tsp.—just to create some steam. Make sure the water doesn’t hit the slice; if it does, the pizza will stick, and you’ll be scraping the crust off the bottom of the pan. Cover the pan, then cook until the pizza is melted. The final result is excellent when executed just right, but for the average pizza eater, this method requires a bit of practice and effort.
Waffle Iron
Finally, I resorted to TikTok for any wacky ways to heat up my slice. Its suggestion: the waffle iron. This method only works if you have two slices. (Please do not try this with one, as it will be an awful, impossible-to-clean mess.) Heat the waffle iron according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Sandwich two slices, cheese side in. Reheat until crisp on the outside and melty on the inside, and a pizza panini is born. I have mixed feelings about the results. It did, indeed, heat the pizza slices—but it felt like a different meal. Part pizza, part sandwich, ultimately, I was no longer eating a slice. So this could not be declared the winner.
The Winner
The good news is that every method here works. You will get a nice, hot pizza slice with minimum effort and in less than 10 minutes.
The verdict: I have to give it to the trusty toaster oven. Small and